WTFPWNT

7:28PM

I'm leaving livejournal. It just pisses me off. Man I'm fucking pissed at all of you on LJ.

7:34PM

Anyone out there to raise my self-esteem? No? Damn.

5:37PM

Dear god I suck. I'm tired of the facade I create for myself. Other people commit suicide because their friends tell them that they love them too much. I stay alive by pretending.

Stomach wrenching right now

8:48PM

*Cry for help*

Also can someone help me on my myspace? I have no fucking clue what to do.

9:20PM

BAM! 4.5 Pages down! And I thought I'd procrastinate on my research paper. God I love me.

Still not feeling emotions. Probably will regain them within the first week of school.

1:31PM

Aha, I found my refuge over here. Since none of yall want to make a little cheer.

http://upchucky.net/~upchucky/flash-fun/farmer-donkey.swf

4:03PM

Since no one really even reads my journal anymore, I figure I am just writing to myself. So I'll just write to remind myself of stupid shit. Life got really fucked up yesterday after I got back from my friend's house. My sister told my mom that she hates her, so everything is all fucked up. My mom can't live with anything less than a soap opera, of course, and my sister isn't exactly calm in the head. Lots of screaming going on today and even as I am writing this. I don't think I'll ever see mary again for a few years. Like a really fucking long time. Maybe even a decade. And in case you are wondering (reader) why I'm so hostile to you, its because you are a dick. Thanks for the comments, BTW asshole.

5:27PM

I work in seasons. Not nessicarily w/ the seasons of the earth of course. Usually during a happy spree I can go w/o worrying too much for a week or two. Every once in a while I'll get into a sad reclined mood where everyone bitches "Whats WRONG JOHN OMFG?!" And I go "nothing" because they are stupid shallow bitches who don't care. Anyway this lasts for a few days or so and lets the sadness and stupidness seep out of me. Of course I can only go w/ emotions for a few months or so going through this routine when I pretty much lose all caring/emotion in me for a few weeks or so. And that is where I am now. I honestly don't give a fuck about you (reader) right now. And I sincerely doubt that you even care about me anyway (no one really does, don't lie). So gbye negro.

8:09PM

I've lost all my friends.

8:43PM

I wish I was cool. I wish I looked good, didn't freak people out/scare them with my personality, was into 'hip hop' and other blasted modern-day music, was a good musician, had lots of friends, knew people, had a GF(ever in my life), gone to germany, been places, went out to hang out every day, knew how to work myspace, had more than just the 'teens' of friends in lj, had a cell phone, had a digital camera, didn't suck at driving, had parents who appreciated my 'B's in school, had a cool dad, owned a car, did the whole 'gift exchange' thing every christmas season, didn't always feel so akward, was good at doing/remembering homework, had any skills, was funny, didn't make stupid lj posts like this one, knew how to flirt, ate healthily, didn't always hurt, didn't get deja vous, didn't have this burn on my fucking hand, went to parties every weekend, was better at thinking up stuff. I wish I was how a teen should be.

Seriously, some people make me fucking sick. Stop becoming so accustomed to 10% of your fucking 105 friends posting on every single 'omfg I'm not perfect' post telling you that they love you. Don't be so fucking used to your BF/GF always being there to bitch to/make out with/talk with. You are a HUMAN BEING, people remind you this every day by interacting with you, don't take them for granted. So stop bitching about 'people hate me and don't like anything about me' when they fucking tell you 'I love you' every fucking single day. Contemplating suicide? Well you shouldn't dumbass, realize people care more about THEIR OWN LIVES than yours, dipshit. I'm sure you care more about your own than that person's.

Please don't comment to this rant with your stupid bullshit 'Omfg dont be sad' posts. If you want to say anything to me, then don't fucking let it be online and something you'd never say ever. If it takes a giant rant from me to have anyone else say a single fucking word of appreciation, then obviously your words hold no water. I hate being lied to. -suckadick

2:07AM

Today for my night alone in the house, I did nothing.

I wish i was an interesting person. Or even considered a person for that matter.

12:01AM

Updating today: I have so much work i need to get doing for AP Euro, ughh. I wish i hadn't put off working on it for this long, and I doubt I will even be able to work on it tommorow. Oh well.

On a cool note, my parents will be leaving to go help my Grandma move into a home. Yep, an old folks home. She was the one who wanted to go there. I guess she felt lonely and wants some new old people friends. Awesome.

But the cool part is that the house is left alone to me. Alone. To me. Meaning I can do whatever the fuck I want. Hmm... the possibilities...

A funny note: Last tuesday I got my hair cut, really short. And for the first time ever, I felt like I might have been slightly attractive. But that feeling is already gone. Oh damn.

Also, yall peeps need to chill. A forced love is one of the most common, and stupid parts of high school relationships. You can't just find someone, you need to find someone who sticks to you like a magnet. That means no adhesive added. Not even a little bit of tape, or some spit. Romeo and Juliet weren't in love, they were just sexually attrected to each other. Don't confuse the feelings. That is your JWC advice of the post.

Also, life sucks, blah blah blah. No one gives a shit anyway. Band, the only constant that I have been expecting in the last year, has now also been fucked up too.

Random line.

Blah blah blah. off to sc i guess.

5:59PM - rawr

Bacde's LiveJournal Slut Stats The below percentages indicate what Bacde has done with the 6 people on his friends list!

met 16.7% hugged 33.3% dated 50.0% kissed 66.7% seen topless 83.3% seen naked 100.0% phone sexed 100.0% made out 100.0% oral sex 100.0% fucked 100.0%

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6:37PM

I wish people weren't so fake to me. I feel like a waste of a person. So what else is up?

11:48PM

I want to be the most I can, and experience the most I can.

But I don't think I can.

Mood: Saddened

4:03PM

I am Sam
I am Sam
Sam I am

That Sam-I-am!
That Sam-I-am!
I do not like
that Sam-I-am!

Do you like
green eggs and ham?

I do not like them,
Sam-I-am.
I do not like
green eggs and ham.

Good job asshole. It seems all you can do is act like a complete dick to me, and when I even come close to being an ass back, you turn straight around and go for the low-shot, and make everyone else hate me. Fuck you. You are no better than the low-lifes you hate yourself. Don't even pretend that it was me who was an ass first. I've even tried just talking with you, but all you can do is fuck around.

9:47PM

I'm in the fucking wierdest mood right now. I don't know whether to be sad or happy or what. Isn't it wierd when your so 'in' to a mood that you can feel it welling up inside you, either feeling painful, or good, or ticklish, or fuckin wierd, or sick, or whatever that emmotion is. I have that and it kinda tickles.

10:58PM

Heeyyyy. Whats up? How is it going? Hi. Hello. Howdy! Good day. Nice to see you. How is it hanging? What-up dawg? You ok?

As you can probably tell, I am bored. More than being bored, I am.....................

Now I am writing with my eyes, closed, oooh! Too bad I have learned how to type and makes this not funny :\.

Eyes open again. Cyall later.

7:39PM

Bitch, please. In the past 4 days I have gotten 3 JMUN awards, Saw episode 3, AND sprained my ankle. Who else can say more? I missed out on the Sierpinsky triangles though, I still don't know which side won. BTW: If you are reading this, Vote for John Combs in the upcomming band election. Hell yeah. This has been an awesome past few days. To anyone who was at the JMUN, I really want to know what 3rd Committe Israel did about all the notes I sent that person. There were some really offensive notes too. Oh well, it won me the "Best message gavel" scrap of paper award, which is my favorite award. Who here can top MY last few days?

6:02PM

I need to have read the entire lord of the rings trilogy by sometime next week. The only thing simalar to those that I have read is the hobbit. BUT I have seen the movies. Those are good enough right?